it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
