It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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