my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
