she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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