We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
