ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
