Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
