Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
