i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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