so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.