Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday