They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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