I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.