I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
