I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Buhtt sex?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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