he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
