I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
