you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
