Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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