I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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