fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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