there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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