I should be sponsored by Trojan
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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