I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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