Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
