ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
