Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
