i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
