A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
