why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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