Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
