So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
