You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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