I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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