I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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