pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
