oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
