Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
