got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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