Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
