i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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