I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
