This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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