Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize