Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
