yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
