she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
