my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
