What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
