I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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