for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i drank out of a bidet.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
