What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
