Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize