i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.