i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.