There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
