Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
