I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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