Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
