If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
