I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
