I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
