i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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