you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
