Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
