The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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