dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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