this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize