You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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