is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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