do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
