her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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