my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
