One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
