your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Alive.
So much puke
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
