the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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