HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
as a side note pls kill me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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