dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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